Saturday, March 13, 2010

can't go back

I wrote this post a LONG time ago but never published it because at the time I wasn't fully convinced the last line was true. But now I know without a shadow of a doubt it is completely true. The only thing that is no longer the same as when I first wrote this post is I don't have cancer-filled dreams anymore. Thank God for that.

The day I learned I had cancer was a day that my changed my life. Changed. I have been waiting since October to feel like myself again. To think as clearly as I used to. To have as much energy as I used to. To interact with my friends the same as I used to. To not be tormented by cancer-filled dreams at night. To go a single day without being reminded that I have cancer.

But I've come to accept that I will never be that person again. I can't go back. I am forever changed.

And I think the change is for the better.

No comments: