Saturday, November 29, 2008

glow little glow worm, glow and glimmer

Well, I am officially glowing. And not because I am overflowing with happiness or anything like that. I had my iodine radiation pills yesterday. I went to the hospital to take them, fully expecting some guy wearing a space suit to bring me the pills based on what others had told me. Well, I was disappointed. A tech wearing plain old scrubs brought me the pills. They were in a lead box, which could have made things a little exciting, but he opened it up for me and handed me the plastic canister the pills were in. What's exciting about that? Not much. But I am officially radioactive and am in isolation for a few days. I also have to flush the toilet three times every time I pee. It's annoying.

Saturday, November 22, 2008

normal [redefined]

i only know what day it is by looking at the letter on the tab of my medicine container/organizer thing. (yes, i have one of those. it's orange.)
spending an entire day in pajamas is acceptable.
sleeping the entire day is also acceptable.
there is nothing good on daytime tv.
or nighttime tv. thank goodness for netflix.
i have suddenly become aware of all the disgusting preservatives and other unpronounceable chemicals i have been putting into my body for the past 24 years.
but i still crave mexican.
i used to think compression stockings were for old people. but now i have a pair. i am wearing them right now. they are useful during all of my lying around time.
i have a new appreciation for really good nurses. and doctors.
God does not get surprised.
but He will cry with you if you need Him to.

i used to think of cancer as something that happens to other people.
but cancer has happened to me.

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

On my knees

God has shown me that in stormy seasons of life it is OK to be emotional. It is OK to be sorrowful and it is OK to be distressed. But it is not OK to disobey God...even when I am emotional, sorrowful, or distressed. During this storm in my life I have two choices: fall apart or fall to my knees. One will leave me ragged and hopeless. The other will leave me in the arms of a Strong Tower, a giver of peace. Today I choose to fall to my knees and I pray that tomorrow I'll have the wisdom and strength to make that same choice.