Monday, February 15, 2010

shut yo mouth

Over the past year and a half since diagnosed with thyroid cancer, I've heard some dumb things. Now, before you go and get all offended, I am NOT calling YOU dumb. Just the stuff you've said. :) Seriously, though, I know I'm just as guilty of saying stupid stuff at the worst times. I'm still not a pro at knowing what to say, but I'm getting pretty good at knowing what not to say. And I thought I would share with you in efforts to keep you from shoving your foot in your mouth in the future.

Do not tell people they are so fortunate to have the cancer they do because it is so curable. Do not tell them they have the good cancer. Do not tell them that, if they had to choose a cancer, this would be the one. 
Really? I did not choose cancer. I do not like to think about choosing cancer. There is no such thing as a good cancer. So if this is something that is about to burst out of your lips, just shut your mouth.

Do not tell someone everything is going to be OK. 
You do not know if that is a true statement. All types of cancer can kill. So don't let this slip out of your mouth.

Do not provide unsolicited medical advice. 
Unless you are my doctor, I don't want to hear it. So if medical advice is the only thing you have to offer, just keep your mouth shut unless you are asked for your opinion.

Do not say God does not and will not give us more than we can handle.
This is a flat-out lie. If this was a true statement, why would we need God at all? Now, if you have said this before, I am sure you did not mean to tell a lie. But you did. The truth is God will not give us more than we can handle WITH HIS HELP. Please be aware of the distinction. And stop telling lies.

This is just the tip of the iceberg, but what would you add to the list?


Joe Pritchard said...

This isn't just related to cancer, but an observation from people telling someone that has lost a loved one "I know how you feel."

SherryAF said...

Joanna, I have lots of them. Here's one:

"You know, my sister/mother/friend/cousin had that same type of breast cancer, and she was doing really well, too. Well, then she worse all of a sudden, and she died." Really? How is that helpful to tell me that?

Joanna Isbill said...


People say this ALL the time...I know I'm guilty of that one...but if you're going through a hard time you certainly don't want to hear that!

Joanna Isbill said...

Sherry, I laughed out loud with that one. Except it's not funny. You really have some good ones. And by good I mean horrible. :)

Courtney Walsh said...

Oh my gosh. You are SO right. God DOES give us more than we can lead us to HIM.

I have heard this for years. Wow. eye-opener, that one!

:)Thank you!!